If you recognize this in your family, you’re dealing with strongholds. Almost 100% of the time, these strongholds did not start with your children, but rather in previous generations which is why they have such strong holds.
Another way these strongholds develop is through our reactions as parents.
It’s a knee jerk response to come unglued when your teenager speaks in a disrespectful tone or manner. Before you go ballistic, let me speak on behalf of your teenager. No person, no matter their age, knows how they are coming across until they get feedback. It’s not instinct—it’s a learned response–to know how we are coming across.
Your teenager who sounds disrespectful is, most often, unaware of what exactly they are doing in their pain and anger that is pushing your buttons.
What they need is 1. peace and 2. patience from us as parents and 3. feedback with 4. training in the right way to go.
Usually, what they get is negative feedback, anger flare-ups, and grounding which doesn’t accomplish transformation!
Thus, we get in these cycles. They sound disrespectful, you’re tired and your buttons are pushed, because you’re 100% sure they are rebellious, and then anger explodes. Everyone is now wounded, and if that’s not cleaned out before the sun goes down (the unforgiveness, anger and mutual-but-untrue- judgments-against-each-other), then that stronghold has morphed larger in one day, in your family, under your nose!
What looks like a rebellion stronghold in them is a stronghold combo fueled by: fear and exhaustion, lack of patience and peace = lack of training. That led to anger flare-ups and unforgiveness which lends strength and building materials to that stronghold.
It’s the same with your elementary school child who refuses, again, to do a task.
It’s not just a strong hold in them, it’s a strong hold in the family fueled by a negative learned pattern (habit) which is empowered by dark spirits.
To get it out effectively, you’ve got to go for the root in the whole family. We’ve got to root these out of our families, not just our children.
First, when you’re praying to tear these down, it’s important to not even confront the children. They are just being jerked around like a dog on a chain. They have very little control of their behavior when the chain gets jerked.
Thus, strongholds block the training process you’ve been trying to implement with them—like mutual respect for siblings, good work ethic in school, healthy anger release, etc.
You’ve been trying to train them, and your training has been blocked because “you can’t train your demon.”
Second, when you’re praying to tear these down, it must be torn down for the whole family. You may not think you have an anger issue, jealousy or pride, especially compared to theirs, but Scripture says, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it” (James 2:10). So, if your son has 65% anger and you have 5%, there will still be a stronghold in the family. Our “stuff” engages “their” stuff. Unfortunately, we, as parents, often add fuel to the fire as we react to their lack of training. A very ugly and repetitive cycle. We have to get rid of the whole thing.
Third, after you’ve torn it down in prayer, there is usually still traces of it left in habits that have been formed. The dark spirits have been evicted, but while they were there, they formed connected neuron clusters in the brain which don’t go away overnight UNLESS the Lord does a supernatural deliverance, healing and visitation which He is known to do! If you find yourself with those traces after dealing with this in prayer, be encouraged. These connections in their brains and relating will dissolve fairly quickly by your leading the charge—to be the first to apologize when you stumble in that area, to be working with the Lord on your own issues, and to play Scripture, worship and/or the blessings overnight for their spirits’ health and in the house as much as possible.
My Prayer for You
Father, thank You for these parents, grandparents and caregivers. Grant them laser precision to detect which strongholds are at work; protection, time, space and grace to deal with the strongholds; strength, resolve, supernatural wisdom and greater grace as they heal themselves and their children and grandchildren from the habits formed while the strongholds were operative; and divine favor and grace to soak in Your presence in person and by audio so that Your Holy Spirit forms the patterns in them that are true and right. Give them greater grace in life, and even with unexpected help, so that they can put as much as possible in neutral gear in order to deal with the stronghold combos that You reveal to them. Remind them in the moment and empower them in the moment of trouble by the power of the Holy Spirit how to move forward or just to step back emotionally. Help them remember what You want them to remember, and forget what You want them to forget. Restore, restore, restore and do much more in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
(Note: Below is a prayer guide to help accelerate this for your family. Feel free to change or adjust the words as led by the Holy Spirit. We’ve made major progress at a stronghold, demolishing huge sections of their houses in one day as He’s turned the light on for us to recognize what we were dealing with. However, most of them have taken some time. As in, more than one day, more than one prayer. You will succeed. While you are working on one of these stronghold combos, give yourself grace and space to not try to accomplish anything big, or to try to make progress on training your children in this time. Put as much of life in neutral gear as you can to deal with this. That is the fastest way through.)
Uproot it Personally
Father, I confess, repent for, reject and renounce every word, thought, and action, every wrong vow and wrong judgment, every heart motive and root of anger (fear, anxiety, stress, worry, doubt and unbelief, hopelessness, pride and arguing with rudeness, shame, blame, unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment, hatred, murder and violence, stubbornness, disobedience, and rebellion, control and manipulation, witchcraft, jealousy, lust of all kinds, darkness of any kind, deception, fill in the blank) from myself and my family line to the core to Adam. I confess every time I separated from You, myself, and that core community You called me to (family—physical and spiritual) and aligned with the world, the flesh and the evil one and walked in these crooked places.
I receive Your forgiveness and release it to my parents and ancestors to the core to Adam. I receive Your forgiveness and release myself. I receive Your forgiveness and extend it to my family, and any other person I have injured through my sin.
Take Your big sword and cut me free from every wrong alliance and negative soul tie in these places. Heal and restore me, in these places, all that I have lost and every place I’m injured.
Separate me from every one of these sins on every level to the core to Adam, and I release them all to the Cross. Wash me clean with the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ and sprinkle Your blood on my conscience to the core to Adam.
Separate me from every dark spirit of any kind (fear, anger, pride, rebellion, wrong judgment, etc.) known and unknown, with their operatives and minions, known and unknown, in any time, space, place or dimension, to the core to Adam. I hate them, I don’t want them. I take Christ’s power and authority over them and decree they are bound in fetters and shackles of iron and taken under angelic guard, with violence if necessary, to the feet of the Lord Jesus Christ for His jurisdiction and sentence.
I dedicate all these places to You, Lord Jesus Christ. Heal, rebuild and fill me with Your Holy Spirit.
Lord Jesus Christ, extract me, spirit, soul and body, from every place that I am in darkness—and deal with the darkness. I come out of hiding and where I imprisoned myself. Lord Jesus Christ, help and strengthen me as I step out.
In all these places, permeate me with Your light and Your Glory to heal me in every wounded and injured place to the core to Adam. Keep permeating me with Your light day and night until healing is complete in those places. Holy Spirit, deeply distribute (massage) the agape love of Father into my heart to the core to Adam.
I dedicate to You, Father, my desire to be a peaceful, patient parent who raises children spirit first, and who has a family who loves, serves, honors, and walks with You, whole-heartedly (add your desires here). Where I have sinned in those desires, I confess, repent for, reject and renounce every sinful word, thought or action, and ask Your forgiveness. Separate me from the sin, and destroy it all at the Cross. Wash me with Your blood, Lord Jesus Christ, and sprinkle Your blood on my conscience to the core to Adam. I dedicate these desires to You. Let Your fire fall on them; burn up the bad and purify the good. I entrust these desires and their fulfillment to You, Lord Jesus Christ, to Your care.
Lord Jesus Christ, Good Shepherd my heart, and cause me to resound to Your peace through Your blood frequency as You transform me by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Holy Spirit, seal all this in me to the core to Adam. Father, please rearguard and seal me with Your Glory in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
Uproot it from the Family
Father, please receive, apply, activate these prayers for my family (name them). I confess their sins in these matters. Please wash these sins out of them, out of existence, off their record to the core to Adam.
I decree their sins are remitted. Please seal this work within them by the power of the Holy Spirit and rearguard and seal them with Your Glory to the core to Adam in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ amen.
Father, I lay all this down, please take it off me as I release it to You for Your full intervention. Align my spirit, soul and body with You, Father, Son and Spirit. Replenish and resupply my strength, energy, power, life and virtue in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.
by Crystal Wade, copyright 2018