Can’t Train THIS Dragon, 2

If you recognize this in your family, you’re dealing with strongholds. Almost 100% of the time, these strongholds did not start with your children, but rather in previous generations which is why they have such strong holds.

Another way these strongholds develop is through our reactions as parents.

It’s a knee jerk response to come unglued when your teenager speaks in a disrespectful tone or manner. Before you go ballistic, let me speak on behalf of your teenager. No person, no matter their age, knows how they are coming across until they get feedback. It’s not instinct—it’s a learned response–to know how we are coming across.

Your teenager who sounds disrespectful is, most often, unaware of what exactly they are doing in their pain and anger that is pushing your buttons.

What they need is 1. peace and 2. patience from us as parents and 3. feedback with 4. training in the right way to go.

Usually, what they get is negative feedback, anger flare-ups, and grounding which doesn’t accomplish transformation!

Thus, we get in these cycles. They sound disrespectful, you’re tired and your buttons are pushed, because you’re 100% sure they are rebellious, and then anger explodes. Everyone is now wounded, and if that’s not cleaned out before the sun goes down (the unforgiveness, anger and mutual-but-untrue- judgments-against-each-other), then that stronghold has morphed larger in one day, in your family, under your nose!

What looks like a rebellion stronghold in them is a stronghold combo fueled by: fear and exhaustion, lack of patience and peace = lack of training. That led to anger flare-ups and unforgiveness which lends strength and building materials to that stronghold.

It’s the same with your elementary school child who refuses, again, to do a task.

It’s not just a strong hold in them, it’s a strong hold in the family fueled by a negative learned pattern (habit) which is empowered by dark spirits.

To get it out effectively, you’ve got to go for the root in the whole family. We’ve got to root these out of our families, not just our children.

Uproot It

First, when you’re praying to tear these down, it’s important to not even confront the children. They are just being jerked around like a dog on a chain. They have very little control of their behavior when the chain gets jerked.

Thus, strongholds block the training process you’ve been trying to implement with them—like mutual respect for siblings, good work ethic in school, healthy anger release, etc.

You’ve been trying to train them, and your training has been blocked because “you can’t train your demon.”

Second, when you’re praying to tear these down, it must be torn down for the whole family. You may not think you have an anger issue, jealousy or pride, especially compared to theirs, but Scripture says, “For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it” (James 2:10). So, if your son has 65% anger and you have 5%, there will still be a stronghold in the family. Our “stuff” engages “their” stuff. Unfortunately, we, as parents, often add fuel to the fire as we react to their lack of training. A very ugly and repetitive cycle. We have to get rid of the whole thing.

Third, after you’ve torn it down in prayer, there is usually still traces of it left in habits that have been formed. The dark spirits have been evicted, but while they were there, they formed connected neuron clusters in the brain which don’t go away overnight UNLESS the Lord does a supernatural deliverance, healing and visitation which He is known to do! If you find yourself with those traces after dealing with this in prayer, be encouraged. These connections in their brains and relating will dissolve fairly quickly by your leading the charge—to be the first to apologize when you stumble in that area, to be working with the Lord on your own issues, and to play Scripture, worship and/or the blessings overnight for their spirits’ health and in the house as much as possible.

My Prayer for You

Father, thank You for these parents, grandparents and caregivers. Grant them laser precision to detect which strongholds are at work; protection, time, space and grace to deal with the strongholds; strength, resolve, supernatural wisdom and greater grace as they heal themselves and their children and grandchildren from the habits formed while the strongholds were operative; and divine favor and grace to soak in Your presence in person and by audio so that Your Holy Spirit forms the patterns in them that are true and right. Give them greater grace in life, and even with unexpected help, so that they can put as much as possible in neutral gear in order to deal with the stronghold combos that You reveal to them. Remind them in the moment and empower them in the moment of trouble by the power of the Holy Spirit how to move forward or just to step back emotionally. Help them remember what You want them to remember, and forget what You want them to forget. Restore, restore, restore and do much more in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen. (50)

Stronghold Prayer

(Note: Below is a prayer guide to help accelerate this for your family. Feel free to change or adjust the words as led by the Holy Spirit. We’ve made major progress at a stronghold, demolishing huge sections of their houses in one day as He’s turned the light on for us to recognize what we were dealing with. However, most of them have taken some time. As in, more than one day, more than one prayer. You will succeed. While you are working on one of these stronghold combos, give yourself grace and space to not try to accomplish anything big, or to try to make progress on training your children in this time. Put as much of life in neutral gear as you can to deal with this. That is the fastest way through.)

Uproot it Personally

Father, I confess, repent for, reject and renounce every word, thought, and action, every wrong vow and wrong judgment, every heart motive and root of anger (fear, anxiety, stress, worry, doubt and unbelief, hopelessness, pride and arguing with rudeness, shame, blame, unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment, hatred, murder and violence, stubbornness, disobedience, and rebellion, control and manipulation, witchcraft, jealousy, lust of all kinds, darkness of any kind, deception, fill in the blank) from myself and my family line to the core to Adam. I confess every time I separated from You, myself, and that core community You called me to (family—physical and spiritual) and aligned with the world, the flesh and the evil one and walked in these crooked places.

I receive Your forgiveness and release it to my parents and ancestors to the core to Adam. I receive Your forgiveness and release myself. I receive Your forgiveness and extend it to my family, and any other person I have injured through my sin.

Take Your big sword and cut me free from every wrong alliance and negative soul tie in these places. Heal and restore me, in these places, all that I have lost and every place I’m injured.

Separate me from every one of these sins on every level to the core to Adam, and I release them all to the Cross. Wash me clean with the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ and sprinkle Your blood on my conscience to the core to Adam.

Separate me from every dark spirit of any kind (fear, anger, pride, rebellion, wrong judgment, etc.) known and unknown, with their operatives and minions, known and unknown, in any time, space, place or dimension, to the core to Adam. I hate them, I don’t want them. I take Christ’s power and authority over them and decree they are bound in fetters and shackles of iron and taken under angelic guard, with violence if necessary, to the feet of the Lord Jesus Christ for His jurisdiction and sentence.

I dedicate all these places to You, Lord Jesus Christ. Heal, rebuild and fill me with Your Holy Spirit.

Lord Jesus Christ, extract me, spirit, soul and body, from every place that I am in darkness—and deal with the darkness. I come out of hiding and where I imprisoned myself. Lord Jesus Christ, help and strengthen me as I step out.

In all these places, permeate me with Your light and Your Glory to heal me in every wounded and injured place to the core to Adam. Keep permeating me with Your light day and night until healing is complete in those places. Holy Spirit, deeply distribute (massage) the agape love of Father into my heart to the core to Adam.

I dedicate to You, Father, my desire to be a peaceful, patient parent who raises children spirit first, and who has a family who loves, serves, honors, and walks with You, whole-heartedly (add your desires here). Where I have sinned in those desires, I confess, repent for, reject and renounce every sinful word, thought or action, and ask Your forgiveness. Separate me from the sin, and destroy it all at the Cross. Wash me with Your blood, Lord Jesus Christ, and sprinkle Your blood on my conscience to the core to Adam. I dedicate these desires to You. Let Your fire fall on them; burn up the bad and purify the good. I entrust these desires and their fulfillment to You, Lord Jesus Christ, to Your care.

Lord Jesus Christ, Good Shepherd my heart, and cause me to resound to Your peace through Your blood frequency as You transform me by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Holy Spirit, seal all this in me to the core to Adam. Father, please rearguard and seal me with Your Glory in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Uproot it from the Family

Father, please receive, apply, activate these prayers for my family (name them). I confess their sins in these matters. Please wash these sins out of them, out of existence, off their record to the core to Adam.

I decree their sins are remitted. Please seal this work within them by the power of the Holy Spirit and rearguard and seal them with Your Glory to the core to Adam in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ amen.

Father, I lay all this down, please take it off me as I release it to You for Your full intervention. Align my spirit, soul and body with You, Father, Son and Spirit. Replenish and resupply my strength, energy, power, life and virtue in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

by Crystal Wade, copyright 2018

Posted in Connected Parenting, Helping Children, Tweens and Teens, Parenting and Our Children's Spirits | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Can’t Train THIS Dragon?

Have you tried everything to get your child to do something that must be done to no avail?

We’re talking things that must be done. Civility. Help at home. Safety. Schoolwork.

Maybe you’ve attempted to give positive feedback, to give grace and space, to cut down on the amount you require, to fill in their gaps, to learn from other wise sources in parenting, etc. Yet, at the end of the day, he or she still has an anger issue or obedience problem, etc. Your child stands the victor and you’re exhausted.

It’s as if civil war breaks out, and you have to gather enough strength to go for another round.

A few years ago a movie emerged entitled “Train Your Dragon.” I’m not advocating the movie, but here’s the clincher—You Can’t Train Your Demon.

As much as we’ve poured into nurturing them spirit first, yes, our children can pick up dark spirits as a matter of their existence (it’s in our family lines and in our world). Yes, they can pick them up from trauma. Yes, they can pick them up from social interaction. However, daily cleansing can keep them clean. Daily interactions don’t cause these types of resistance unless they are left to germinate. (Here’s a good starting point daily cleansing prayer.)

Father, grant these parents, grandparents and caregivers grace to make daily cleansing for their family a priority and a habit in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ amen!

Take a deep breath.

That civil war effect is what it looks like in a family to be head-butting a stronghold. A stronghold is a place of dark spirits (of whatever variety) that’s built on lies that have been ingested as truth. (49)

John and James* were brothers who barely had a civil word to say to each other. Tempers flared high over slight infringements, and when fists flew, things got ugly fast.

Even at a young age, Frank* threw a massive temper tantrum most times his mother engaged him in schoolwork. When he was allowed to do it on his own, he usually kept a level head. However, when she required that he spend supervised time in order to check his progress and to help him with any potential gaps he had, Frank went ballistic.

They’re not the only ones.

Gideon, the mighty man of God who liberated Israel from Midian, succumbed to his family stronghold. Gideon obeyed the Lord, acted under the direction of the Spirit of the Lord, and accomplished epic feats. However, the idolatry stronghold pattern trumped the pulse movement of the Spirit of the Lord, and he did not break free.

In John and James’ case, the stronghold was a combination of jealousy, unforgiveness and anger with pride.

In Frank’s case, the stronghold combination was fear and anger.

In Gideon’s case, the stronghold combination was idolatry, fear and pride.

The good news is: Once you see what it is, you’re almost out!

. . .to be continued.

by Crystal Wade, copyright 2018

*names have been changed.

Posted in Connected Parenting, Helping Children, Tweens and Teens, Parenting and Our Children's Spirits, Repair the Generations | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Spirit of the LORD with Our Children’s Spirits

I love the true stories in Scripture which go epic. The sure fire way to ascertain if the story will go epic quickly is contained in these key words: “The Spirit of the Lord came upon. . . .”

For years, I’ve grappled with the question—how can a person who moved in synchronization with the Spirit of the Lord and accomplished such mighty feats end up in such epic failure?

Think Samson whose life ended with him blind and by suicide. Gideon who immediately built a graven image from the gold of the spoils he’d won by the Spirit of the Lord which caused his whole community to sin—and whose rebellious son killed his heirs. Jephthah who made a tragic vow, lost his precious only daughter after a great victory, and died broken-hearted six years later.

I know we live in the New Covenant with the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ to cover our sins and grant us freedom, thank God, but not all people who’ve moved mightily in the Spirit of the Lord under the New Covenant have finished well, either.

Father began to reveal to me the difference between the Spirit of the Lord and our spirit, and how it’s His desire for His Spirit to work with our spirit (Spoiler Alert: Success for this endeavor rests on our end!).

When the Spirit of the Lord comes upon a person, Old Covenant or New, epic feats are accomplished.

However, it’s the life lived in the middle parts that determine whether the person will complete their life well or not. Father always ends things on a good note, so He’s on our side to finish well. Thus, it’s up to us to work with Him in order to accomplish the happy ending.

Our children who’ve been nurtured spirit first (and those to whom Father gives an extra measure of grace) have a full-throttle approach to life because of their inner health. They are at a higher level of energy, functionality, engagement, enthusiasm, etc. because of their spirit health.

Because of their inner health thanks to Father and parental investment, they have these strong reactions in their will, emotions, and thoughts (and opinions!). Living with these reactions 24/7 can weary us as parents.

Consider the story of Samson. He was so demanding! Father designed Samson to be a forceful person—in fact, the spirit of might described in Isaiah 11 is connected with strength and valor, indicating force.

Samson demanded his parents get him a Philistine wife. At their reply which accosted his request, but was marked with resignation nonetheless, he bluntly retorted, “Get her for me. She’s the right one for me.” Judges 14:1-3. Honestly, this is not the respectful conversation exchange we’d expect between a grown Israeli man and his law-abiding parents.

It turned out that Samson was right that time—the Lord did intend him to walk in that direction to incite the Philistines. However, the point is that Samson, with his nurtured spirit and the Spirit of the Lord upon him, was accustomed to getting his way, being unrestrained by his parents as he forced his will on them. The force was right; it was Father’s design for Samson, but the direction and self-will-guidance of the force was wrong.

His dad’s response indicates weariness with his son’s constant force, and the resignation that comes from the constancy, Judges 14:3.

Father’s plan for this process of raising children spirit-first is two-fold. He intends for parents to nurture and train the children, and He intends to mature us through them. For Samson’s parents, this would have been to recognize that his forceful nature was Father’s design, to bless it, and to partner with Father to shape it. This would include their they modeling and enforcing healthy boundaries in the family, and helping Samson learn to process his emotions and moderate his responses. That process would have helped Samson’s parents mature as they had to face his forcefulness and overcome their fear and passivity.

Of utmost, eternal importance is this process. (42)

If we do not engage with our issues with the Father, and stay engaged with our children, they will grow into adulthood with the thought/belief/behavior patterns such as: anger fits are acceptable, self-control is optional, and speaking up is futile, not necessary, and/or not worthy of using respect in conversation, as well as a host of other issues.

Our goal is that when the Spirit of the Lord comes upon our children causing them to accomplish epic feats, that they can walk out the rest of their lives from a heart (spirit and soul) that desires to and follows through with putting Father first-place so that no matter what the mighty works they accomplish they will be able to finish well.

If you’re reading this, you’re called to help prepare your children, grandchildren, or someone in the next generation to be ready for Joel 2:28 so that they can: 1. sustain life with Father daily 2. be ready for the times when His Spirit comes upon them in might and prophesy, and then 3. step back into daily life without undisciplined (or untrained) places sabotaging themselves or their destiny.

To that end, we parents must stay engaged with Father on our issues (this is a daily stance, not 24/7. Father backs our God-designed human need to build in breaks to our lives, rest and rejuvenate, take care of our needs, for sure.). Further, we parents, by dedicating this goal to the Father, by His grace, must not give in to a spirit of resignation, acquiescence or blissful ignorance to our children’s issues as they grow and develop.

My prayer for you:

Father, thank You for these parents, grandparents and caregivers. Thank You for sending the unique children You have chosen to send them for their mutual love and care, and for Your eternal plan in their generations. Please make space and grace in their lives for them to be able to renew and refresh so that they can sustain the marathon of raising their children spirit-first. Please show them what to do and what to drop so that they have continued grace and space in their lives.

Shine Your light and reveal to the parents (and those in the parental role) what You are wanting to work on in their lives specific to the season they’re in, and send Your Holy Spirit to do this work deeply as You strengthen and encourage them.

Shine Your light and reveal to the parents (and those in the parental role) what You are wanting to work on in their children’s lives specific to the season they’re in, and send Your Holy Spirit to do this work deeply as You strengthen and encourage them. Father, give wisdom to the parents on how to approach, grow, and train their children, specifically as You desire and direct, and adjust their “issues” specifically by Your Holy Spirit.

Please release all the resources into their lives in Heaven and on earth in order to work with You in this process of raising/nurturing/training their children and growing in their own personal inner maturity. Restore the years eaten by locusts. Prepare them each (parents and children) in their spirits and souls to be ready vessels for the Spirit of the Lord to come upon them and stay upon them as You did upon the Lord Jesus Christ. Get them ready for the Joel 2:28 outpouring! Restore them personally and generationally, and do much more. Grant them greater grace because of the greater sin that abounds in our days. Quicken them to recognize the opportunities You open between them and You, and between them and their children, and give them energy and desire to act so that the time can be redeemed in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

by Crystal Wade, copyright 2018













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Help, My Children are Healthy!

Parenting is no easy task. Raising children spirit first takes much work as it demands engagement to build them intentionally.

Honestly, when we’ve nurtured our children’s spirits, they are in better shape than we are (in many areas).

Father has given these tasks to each generation. To the parents, He’s tasked them to make things better. To the children, He’s tasked them to take what was given and to build it bigger.

Think Abraham. Father called Abraham to leave all that he knew, and to go stake a claim in a new land. Abraham became an immigrant of faith for God. The generation who leaves and immigrates has a harder time of it, as they completely start over.

Isaac received what his father had worked for. From that higher point, and with Father’s blessing, he built it bigger. In turn, Isaac had much more to bequeath to Jacob.

From generation to generation, as everyone does their part, life and blessings build in momentum!

What you’ve had to face in your life – your ceiling – becomes your children’s floor.

This is great news!

As a result of spirit nurture, your work, and Father’s calling, your children are healthy. Marks of health include: 1. Strong will (direction, purpose, etc.!) 2. Strong emotions (desires, passions, reactions!) 3. Strong mind (opinions! thoughts!). 4. Strong spirit (praise the Lord!).

What this looks like in real time is much work to get that strong, healthy child trained. (28)

Guess what? Not every day do we parents feel like going into Olympic coach training mode! We don’t get the luxury of that singular focus because of the multiples that life has stacked on our plates!

Thus, as a result of their health, our nurtured-spirit children have made life more difficult on us, parents.

Father, I’m asking You for greater grace and times of refreshing and renewal for these parents, grandparents, and caregivers in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Key ways to make it easier:

  1. Recognize that training/discipline models you’ve been brought up with, or have read, may not work with your child.
  2. Be ready to throw out what you know. Commit your parenting to the Father—whose child both you and your children are. Ask for His wisdom. Be flexible. If one way isn’t working, ask Him for help to solve the impasse and to train them in the way they, personally, are designed by Him to go.
  3. Repent daily. Your children have inadvertently made life harder. They may have the strength of Samson. The fortitude of John the Baptist. The creative/expressive-worship anointing-leadership calling of David. The faith of Abraham. This is healthy, good and right. They’ll win big with Father in life. But, your life was harder today and this season having to wrangle them. Every evening, confess your anger and unforgiveness with them to the Father, asking His forgiveness, so that the Father’s enemy does not use their good gifts of strength and health to push his foot in your family’s door, Ephesians 4:26-27.

by Crystal Wade, copyright 2018

Posted in Connected Parenting, Helping Children, Tweens and Teens, Parenting and Our Children's Spirits | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hear What Their Sensitivity is Saying

One of the greatest gifts that can be given is the gift of listening.

In today’s frenetic world, it’s a pearl of high price. These pearls, however, are treasures. It’s very worthwhile for us to stop and to listen that we may uncover these treasures in our children.

There are times that our children are speaking from their spirits and we don’t have any physical words to hear from them, but what we are “hearing” in our spirit (also our gut inclinations).

Thad* screamed, with unnerving regularity, when his parents drove to town to buy groceries. They knew something was going on, but weren’t sure what, or how to deal with it. Thus, the family endured his screams on that highway stretch for about two years (about age 2 to 4). As a matter of survival, they traded grocery shopping as much as possible. One parent staying with Thad at home while the other drove to town. They also had to employ this method for doctor’s appointments. In fact, there were few places the family could attend without some extreme reaction from Thad.

Some years later, when Thad’s communication was fully developed, he told them that he thoroughly detested that stretch of road due to the demons he saw there. Surprised that he’d seen them, his parents weren’t thoroughly shocked because they did know that something they couldn’t explain was going on with Thad. He was a really sweet, strong and sensitive child who wasn’t fighting them, but who did seem to be in crisis in many public places. They were thankful that they’d done what they could—which was to reduce their public life—in order to help him make it through that period.

One of Father’s gifts to people is discernment. That means that infants and children can see, feel, and/or detect the presence of defilement, darkness and demons. If you’ve done clean up work through repentance on behalf of your family and/or the Father chose to give them a special gift, then that increases their ability to also see, feel, and/or detect the presence of Father’s angels and His hosts.

It’s also the Father’s gift and His good will that we be sensitive spiritually. Infants are born this way, and children have this precious spiritual sensitivity as well. They do have eyes to see and ears to hear, as Jesus often exhorted the adults. Let us, as parents, learn to recognize and nurture these gifts. These prepare our children to do well in a world filled with darkness—as they can tell the difference between light and darkness, no matter what the appearance is. (39)

At age three, Gerald* suddenly spoke in the car, “wreck.” His dad snapped to attention, and said, “No, there will be no wreck.” It wasn’t even a particularly crowded road the family traveled. A few minutes later, a car careened through a lane, overcompensating after leaving one of the businesses whose parking lots fed into the road. No one was sure if they’d lost control, or had lost focus. However, no wreck happened.

To circle back around to Thad, there is a better way to live.

First, if you notice any similarities from these true stories to your child or grandchild,  recognize they have discernment and it’s working well. Bless it. Bless their sensitivity.

They are your alarm bells. Your warning sign. Also, your training ground.

Second, I offer these prayers to assist you:

The Lord Jesus Christ’s authority to align your family.

“I bring our spirit, souls and bodies under the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ.” Sometimes, this alone clears out the space.

The Lord Jesus Christ’s authority to rule over the darkness present anywhere.

“I take Christ’s authority over any darkness here and command it nullified. Your kingdom come, Father, Your will be done on earth and here as it is in Heaven. Host, clear out this space. Angels, make grace and space. I release Your anointing.”

*names have been changed.

By Crystal Wade, copyright 2018


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Strength and Sensitivity of Spirit

Children, tweens and teens, who’ve received nurture to their spirits, have a great inner strength and resolve. This strength is very good as it’s a sign of inner health by being able to stand solid in oneself. It’s also very good as it’s the opposite of weakness and infirmity which makes us susceptible to the Father’s enemy (yes His grace is sufficient in our weakness, but it’s always His will to strengthen, heal, and fill those weak places). Further, it’s very good because the Father wants and needs people of all ages strong enough to stand up with Him–and that takes strength to be able to stand alone with Him when necessary.

What this means for parents is that the children have a strong will, strong mind, strong emotions. It’s a sign of health, and it’s very good.

What it is not is easy.

Maybe you haven’t even nurtured your child’s spirit in the womb or as a young child and you’re concerned about their inner strength and spiritual health. Father did. He nurtured the spirits of Samson, Samuel, David and John the Baptist as babies in the womb and children. Children are designed by Father with a high and close connection to Him. To read more about that connection, click here.

Jesus said that the angels of children always see Father’s face—which means that angels are on attentive alert to the Father’s direction for those children (Matthew 18:10). He also said that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these:  children (Luke 18:16).

They sense, feel, hear, understand, receive from Father and are permeable by the spiritual realm. They are sensitive to the spiritual realm of darkness too—and to best protect them it’s imperative to get our homes clean spiritually (which may include tossing or destroying certain physical items) and to pray for our families daily. (37)

On the good side, they receive and respond to the Father, Son and Spirit and the angelic realm. As you’re going about your physical day, they will say the most profound things. Words, concepts, compassionate and/or wise interactions that are light years above their physical age level startle us, sometimes, as parents.

John*, between ages 2 and 3, told his mom that this was the day to go to his grandmother’s house to work and pray in the prayer garden she was developing. At his pre-school age, they had the freedom to do so, and it was a highly blessed time where the Spirit of the Lord met the family. John sensed the door open in time correctly.

Chris*, between ages 5 and 6, described the angel of his brother running down the hall. He’d gone to look in his other sibling’s room to see where his brother was headed. Unexpectedly, he saw the boy, dressed and appearing the same age and in the same clothes as his brother, leap up to the high window in the vaulted room, disappearing from the house.

Sam* shocked his family the day his dad and mom were discussing the possibility of a situation in their lives being an attack of the Father’s ancient enemy. At 5 years old, Sam said it wasn’t possible. There were too many angels around their house for the enemy to get in, he said matter-of-factually. Instantly, his mom remembered the Scripture, “The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers them” (Psalm 34:7).

In those moments, they are speaking from their spirit, interacting from above, where is their rightful home, just as it is yours.

It is wisdom to take seriously what the children are saying. Yes, they are imaginative and creative, and if they’ve been filled up on silly words, silly or unclean programming and/or games, they will have that “plaque” build up. Yes, take that into consideration.

However, when they begin speaking about the Heavenly Father, His angels, profound things, things they haven’t learned, drop what you are doing, and pay attention. Take note. In fact, let them talk and give your full attention, and then write it down and date it.

Thank them for sharing with you what they received from the Heavenly Father. Then, let them go about their play or day.

You do want them to feel safe, that you are available and attentive, that what they are saying is important, and to nurture that relationship with their Heavenly Father.

You do not want them to feel or believe that they need to accentuate, exaggerate, or drum up spiritual things to be able to connect with you or please you. Be aware of this:  Your children are sensitive to you, too, and you are their first mission on earth. And that mission is to love you with the Heavenly Father’s love.

Early on in my experience of nurturing and protecting my children spirit first, the Father impressed this wisdom which has guided many of my husband and my decisions. It has shielded us from a great deal of unwanted trouble.

“Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you.” Proverbs 2:11

When your children share these precious, profound pictures, images, words, spiritual messages and experiences with you, it is private information. Not public. It’s human nature to want to share joy. Share your joy with your Heavenly Father, with your spouse, with your trusted spiritual friend or mentor.

However, using discretion to avoid sharing the spiritual treasures they’ve shared builds credibility with the Heavenly Father who allowed you a sneak-peak into His work with your child who is His child. It also builds credibility with your child, proving they have a safe place that’s trustworthy with you.

Be like Mary. Protect your children’s spirits (and hearts) as she did Jesus with discretion by not sharing what they said publically. Treasure these things in your heart. If Mary had a journal available, she would have journaled. We do—so treasure them in your heart, and write them down in your journal!

*Names have been changed.

By Crystal Wade, copyright 2018

Posted in Connected Parenting, Helping Children, Tweens and Teens, Parenting and Our Children's Spirits | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Spiritual Hygiene

“We’ve gotta wash that Christian fellowship off our hands,” laughed my dad as we’d drive home after church, following his jovial and personable interactions with crowds at every service.

Physically speaking, founder of modern nursing, Florence Nightingale, changed history for patients by providing them a future by helping them escape death resulting through lack of hygiene. She sparked a global movement through the medical field, when she modeled, demanded, and then taught that physical hygiene—including washing hands, instruments and linens be routine.

Centuries before Father raised the standard of physical hygiene and caring, principled nursing through Nightingale, He’d commanded His people to wash their hands after returning from the marketplace and before eating under running water (not stagnant). That simple physical action alone coupled with the Father’s eternal covenant with Israel, and Father’s dietary (eat clean foods) and sanitation instructions (place the latrine outside the camp and cover it), caused the Jews to be amazingly immune from the Bubonic plague that swept Europe in the 1300s.  (Please note, plagues are covered in Psalm 91. Praying Psalm 91 is the top-tier protection prayer strategy for your family, your work, and your assignments.)

Jesus said, “A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean” (John 13:10). Jesus referred to the bath as receiving Him as Lord and Savior. However, we get dirty daily, so we frequently need to get cleaned up.

This principle of cleaning up applies spiritually as well. It’s spiritual hygiene. (30).jpg

Here are some instances where spiritual hygiene is necessary

  1. Social interaction can transmit spiritual dirt as surely as the physical hand-shaking my dad had us wash off our hands.
  2. For intercessors, you’re in constant spiritual dirt. There’s lots of pulling out unclean roots (sin and its repentance) in the garden of life for our families, our assignments and strategic or emergency situations. That’s in addition to social interaction, or even dirt from the grocery store, your office, and church settings.
  3. Further, as an intercessor, you’re spiritually sensitive. Your sensitivity increases as you grow in the gift. So, you may not be officially in intercession mode, you may be at a family or church gathering, when you suddenly feel drained. Or you feel drained upon returning home.

It took a long time for me to learn this, but this truth will save you time and trouble:

We don’t turn ON our gifts in spiritual settings (such as church, intercessory gatherings, prophetic meetings, etc.) and turn them OFF in daily life. We are ON in the spiritual realm at all times. For instance, we know to be on guard and on cleansing duty when we’re on a big assignment, or even at an emergency situation, but daily life needs that attention as well in order to stay living the abundant life Christ paid for. This doesn’t mean that you have to work all the time, exerting yourself in your gift as you would if you were serving on church or ministry staff 24/7. It does mean that you need to be aware, even in places (grocery store, work, family gatherings, church attendance, etc.) where you normally wouldn’t be expecting to be aware.

The good news is that He is always with us. Holy Spirit helps us gain new habits and remember what He’s taught us.

The Father led my husband to initiate spiritual hygiene for our family. We pray this daily, but now we no longer wait till the end of the day, but pray it after almost everything—treating each interaction—family, church, grocery store, work—as marketplace and use the principle to “wash our hands” after contact.

It has created such a marked change of spiritual cleanliness that our son now initiates this prayer on his own and in the case of our having overlooked it.

Before I leave you with this spiritual hygiene prayer, I’d like to offer this prayer for you:

“Father, thank You for training us how to use our gifts, and how to live the abundant life that Jesus paid such a high price for. Please cause us each to remember what You want us to remember and forget what You want us to forget. Give us grace in the learning curve, and grace to walk out the new You are teaching us. In the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.”

Spiritual Hygiene Prayer

“Father, please cleanse our (name family members) eyes, ears, nose, mouth, heart, hands, senses and gates, spirit, soul and body, from all social, physical, involvement and sin. Wash us within and without with the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Separate us from everything that attached to us that will not bow its knee to the Lord Jesus Christ. Angels, gather them up and take them under guard to the feet of the Lord Jesus Christ. Separate us from any snake, scorpion or spider. Let Your fire fall on them. Burn, and go to the pit. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit. Thank You, amen.”

by Crystal Wade, copyright 2018

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Give Me a BREAK!

The most demanding, unpaid job, without holidays or vacations, on the planet is parenting!

It’s also the most rewarding, and yields the highest (eternal and generational) return on investment. What a whiplash! What a challenge!

Parents need a reliable, trustworthy, affordable daily babysitter. Both for our own daily sanity and for our children to learn as separate from us.

Unfortunately, many easily accessible babysitters are adding to our troubles.

What we’ve leaned on to help our children, to give ourselves some space, or simply fill the time is a root cause of their acting out.

It is. . .drumroll. . . (29)Media and technology.

Young children are highly sensitive and open in their minds, wills, emotions, and in their spirits. They are learning sponges which is wonderful, but it’s also harmful if they are filled in these spaces (minds, wills, emotions and spirits) with defilement or pointless (dare I say “stupid”) programming.

There’s the obvious witchcraft and darkness which infiltrates so much programming and is accessible on our technological devices.

May I draw your attention to a more subtle form of defilement?

By defilement, I’m referring to anything that assaults the purity of our children on any level. Adults have many layers of filters for, and thus often don’t catch, what profoundly impacts children in their precious state of innocence and God-given purity. These include, but aren’t limited to: common rudeness, unsavory language, emotionally gripping, or intense scenes.

Even when you, as the parent, are filtering their media and technology, they may still act out. That is because of how long they have spent on media/technology.

It actually impacts their brain and their spirit. The sound waves agitate their spirit, while the colors, sounds, motion, and activity grip them emotionally. Thus habits are formed, and they act out: 1. having been defiled and not having language for it 2. having spent too much time on it 3. having formed a habit or pattern which is a level of addiction.

What is a parent to do?

If your child is very young, start these good patterns for you and them now! If there’s already water under the bridge, it is redeemable.

Recognize you need time out to attend to your own needs. Breathe. As you adjust, take the time not just to do more work, but to do something that attends to your own needs, spiritual, mental, emotional and/or physical. I say “or” because you may only be able to attend to one level of needs at a time.

Repent for the defilement you allowed from these unreliable babysitters. Most, if not all, of us have allowed our children to see and hear media and take too much time on technological devices. Ask the Father to cleanse them with the Lord Jesus Christ’s precious blood, heal those places, rebuild them, and fill them with His Holy Spirit to restore them to their full purity and innocence.

Ask for the fire of God to burn up everything inside you, your children, your house that is not of Him that was allowed in through those media/technology gates, and to purify all that is Him.

Set limits for yourself and them. It’s not about rules—but about spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health for you and your children. The King James Version speaks of one of the fruit of the Spirit being “temperance,” Galatians 5:22. That’s known as “self-control” in the New International Version; it’s the ability to know when to stop, to be able to control desires and passions rather than their controlling you.

May I pray for you?

Father, I thank you for these parents and their children. Give them grace by the power of Your Holy Spirit to be connected with Your Spirit so that they have the ability to control the flow of their desires and passions rather than their desires and passions controlling them. Holy Spirit, give them grace to live with limits, and desire what it truly good, so that they can have the full abundant life that Jesus paid for, and time and energy available to be and to do what You have called them to, in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Choose healthful media, just as you try to choose healthful food. Here are some healthful suggestions.

  1. Audio Bible. Sound is so important. Whether they can read or not, listening to the Bible an hour a day gives you the break you need as it simultaneously builds their spirit health and strength. I do suggest that you edit it, as some of the Scriptures are intense and our children will take those to heart in their purity and innocence just as they would the defilement on media. If you haven’t implemented this already, you will be amazed at how easily and quickly their personal spiritual growth accelerates simply from listening to the Word! An excellent side effect is that it increases their mental processing and understanding as well.
  2. Mr. Rodger’s Neighborhood. The old episodes are available and are still relevant. His heart for their tender state really shines through. (Google this. Episodes are on Amazon Prime and PBSkids.)
  3. Veggie Tales, especially the early episodes (I don’t recommend “Where’s God when I’m Scared” for young children.)
  4. Let’s Wade In. Our family specifically created Let’s Wade In to address the needs for parents to have a reliable, trustworthy source to turn to in media-ville, and for children, tweens and teens to be built up in their relationship with the Father and trained to go with God, go for the gold in the race of their own lives.
  5. Engage, a course filled with experts and solid practical advice hosted by Kirk Cameron, 5 practical lessons for raising your kids in a social media generation.

For older tweens and teens, as you pray through this, and make changes on how you use media and technology, Father will help you. Sometimes, like Amy Grant sings, “It takes a little time to get the Titanic turned around.”

But, I leave you with one last thought. You pay the electric bill. The plug can mysteriously be disconnected to your Internet source at certain times of day, and you don’t have to know why when they ask. 🙂 That can begin the physical weaning process.

In the meantime, Father grant each one greater grace for we live in a time filled with greater sin. We thank You in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

by Crystal Wade, copyright 2018

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Bounce Back from “Bad” Behavior

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.  Even when we nurture our child’s spirit, stay tuned in, and deal with generational issues, sometimes our child has an unusual change in behavior for no apparent reason.

In John 13:10, Jesus said, “A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean.”   Jesus referred to the “bath” as receiving Him as Lord and Savior.  However, as we know, we can get dirty from going outside, so we frequently need to get cleaned up.  This principle of cleaning up after going outside applies spiritually as well. 

Social interaction can “transmit” spiritual dirt.  Also, once our home is dedicated to the Lord Jesus Christ and cleansed of anything associated with witchcraft, it is possible that some “dirt” may still come in with the groceries, mail, or an object that seems innocent, and that causes the children to act out. For more information on cleansing and protecting homes from spiritual darkness, I recommend Chuck Pierce’s book Protecting Your Home from Spiritual Darkness.


For example, Andrew* really enjoyed a video game which his spiritually sensitive parents had approved.  They detected no witchcraft in it.  So, innocently enough, Andrew’s parents bought him a shirt which featured the “star” of that video game.  Shortly thereafter, Andrew and his siblings exhibited an unusual change in their behavior.  The children were drawn to play that game nonstop, acting pensive when their parents refused to let them.  Andrew and his siblings began to speak disrespectfully to their dad and blatantly refused to share toys with each other.

This behavior stood in contrast to their usual manner of relating.  The parents back-tracked the behavior change, and realized that this unusual pattern correlated to the shirt they purchased for Andrew (although it did not contain anything overtly sinful or occultic).  Conferring together, they privately spoke to Andrew about the meaning of idols, explaining that an idol can be anything to which we give our full attention and priorities.  The parents gently mentioned that a video game can be an idol (as can any thing).  They explained the change in behavior they witnessed in Andrew since purchasing the shirt.  They apologized to him for buying the shirt and threw it away, explaining to him that they had made a mistake which needed to be made right.  Together, Andrew and his parents decided to shelve that particular video game.  Quickly, Andrew and his siblings returned to normal, respectful behavior.

Another cause for a sudden change in behavior–or acting out–is social interaction.  Spending time at school, playing at a friend or family member’s house, going shopping, or out around people where there is social contact can sometimes transmit “dirt” to our children (and ourselves as well).

If your children (tweens or teens) are in a bad mood or acting out, take note. Where were they recently? If they’ve just been around people (even via social media or phone), they’ve just received “dirt” from social interactions which is the root of their acting out or up. In those cases, we can ask the Lord Jesus Christ to cleanse the whole family from all social interaction, contact, and any involvement with sin and to restore peace and order to our family’s spirits and home.

In fact, we no longer wait for our children to act out from social interaction. We use a version of this prayer at least once a day.

Cleansing Prayer

“Father,  please cleanse our (name family members) eyes, ears, nose, mouth, heart, hands, senses and gates, spirit, soul and body, from all social, physical, involvement and sin. Wash us within and without with the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Send Your angels to remove from us anything that will not bow its knee to the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and take them under guard to His feet for His jurisdiction. Fill us with Your Holy Spirit. Thank You, amen.”

* Names have been changed.

(excerpt from Perfect Peace by Crystal Wade, copyright 2010)

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Recover Your Family’s Peace

How do you cope with and diffuse tension and stress?

Do you release it verbally? physically? emotionally? spiritually? Or were you trained, consciously or inadvertently, to hold it inward? (Hint: This is a root cause of many physical ailments and disease.)

Just like adults, our children, teens and tweens experience tension and stress, too. In fact, due to the breakdown of families, moral virtue at large, and the influx of defilement freely available in entertainment and electronics/technology, they have much more tension and stress than did previous generations of children.

A cause of their acting out is due to their internal buildup of tension and stress.

They have worries and concerns for which they don’t have language. Some acting out is simply their untrained tension release. They’re trying to blow off the internal steam pressure, and they may look and sound like an unmanned missile fueled by a mix of hot magma, rocket fuel, adrenaline, and caffeinated energy drinks doing so!

This doesn’t help parents who are already over-worked and stressed themselves.

For parents, the first place to look is inward. Notice how you handle stress. Inward? Or outward?

My prayer for you.

Father, grace each parent. Give them understanding of how they cope with tension and stress. Give them grace and space to quickly discover healthy ways of diffusing it. Grant greater grace because sin does much abound in our times, and the safety nets previous generations had are dissolved. In our times, intervene. Heal, recalibrate, give light, grace, space, time and resources for each one to understand and to release the daily and seasonal buildup. Restore and do much more in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Next, when you understand how you cope with and diffuse tension and stress, then you’ll be able to help your children recognize and release theirs much more easily.

Some acting out stems from bad habits formed from the years their tensions and stress built up while they simultaneously lacked training to recognize and release it in healthy ways. However, there is hope! No matter how many years it has been internally building, those bad habits can still be changed.

Once you recognize your methods of coping with and diffusing tension and stress (and adjust them as necessary with Father’s grace helping you), you’ll recognize their bad habits for what they are—slamming doors, yelling, refusing or delaying fulfilling your requests or their jobs, etc.

In this very unpleasant place, let me encourage you. The first step is to get your stress under control by adjusting your coping and diffusing methods so you have a solid place of inner stability.

In that transition time, you have to focus on yourself and let their bad habits slide.


In other words, if you are on the edge with your stress, it’s no time to deal with their bad habits. You won’t make progress for you or for them.

Father, greater grace, with speed, alignment, peace and order, for this adjustment time!

Coping with stress starts with taking breaks in the day. John Eldredge highlights the value of the one minute pause. To take one minute and pause before starting the next project, phone call, email, task, etc. Another way is to take time to disconnect from phones and media. It is amazing how quickly this increases internal peace!

Diffusing stress is to discover healthy ways that work for you personally to get it out so it does not build up and create health problems or explode and cause relational problems. Exercise is a way to release stress. However, due to health restrictions, many are limited from exercise. Listening to the Bible on audio, peaceful music or worship songs, sitting outside in the natural world and prayer are excellent ways to diffuse stress.

As you gain ground personally, then, stand in your place as parent spiritually first.

Start by committing your plans to reclaim the lost ground of training to the Father so that your plans will succeed, Proverbs 16:3. Then, repent to the Father for the unforgiveness, anger, unhealthy habits, and lack of training that you and they have. Ask to be washed in the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. Dedicate those areas of your spirit, soul and body to Father, Son and Spirit to redeem and restore.

You can water the hard ground of that place in their hearts by speaking to their spirits, without their being present, honestly, about what has happened. For example: Beloved, There is stress and tension, and more so for you because of where Father chose to place you in world history. However, there is greater grace where much sin does abound. It is healthy to cope with and diffuse stress and tension, but that didn’t happen as I would have best wanted. Now is the time to start anew and adjust. This will be an adjustment, but it is because I love you, and want you to have healthy life habits, so work with me and not against me, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, this is sealed to your spirit, by the Holy Spirit, amen.

Before you even face them head-on for the adjustment of their bad habits of coping with and diffusing stress and tension in their untrained state, ask the Father to set up a secure communication system between you so that you each can hear and understand what the other one is saying without pain or suffering.

Now is time for physical action.

If their spirit has been nurtured, they have strength in their spirit and soul. That doesn’t mean that they have perfection—or training to handle the ups and downs of life with its stressors. What it does mean is that their bad habits may be bigger and louder due to their strong will—which is exactly what Father wants them to have—the strong will—but with peace and yieldedness to His leading.

When you’ve come to peace and solidity yourself, stood in your place spiritually first, it won’t take long till they have the lightbulb flash on in their worldview that this bad habit will no longer be tolerated. They will recognize your peace, and strength to back it, that you no longer tolerate “that” bad habit of acting out in tension, and it will subside.

Once the crisis bad habit has been addressed and enforced, then you have space to talk with them about tension, stress, and to describe that is what they are feeling, and to discuss healthy ways to deal with it to diffuse it. Share with them honestly the walk that you’ve been on yourself. Acknowledge their stress and tension. Let them know that you want them to have great life skills so that they can have the good future Father has planned for them and written in their Heavenly books.

My prayer for you.

Father, thank You that You call out the generations from the beginning. You have prepared our place in our generation, and You are the restorer of the generational breach. Father, grant greater grace and mercy to restore these inner jewels of peace and strength in the parents, and greater grace and mercy to them to align with You and navigate healthy ways to cope with and diffuse stress in our rapidly changing and danger-fraught world. Hold them, each one, together through the transition. Insulate the parents’ nerves from the stress of their children, tweens and teens’ bad habits of acting out their tension, as the parents press in to resolve theirs. Grant the parents greater grace and mercy to step into their spiritual position with all the peace, confidence and strength You desire for them. Rapidly restore the generational breach—spirit, soul and body—between parents and children, tweens and teens, and restore the years eaten by locusts. Heal them, build them, fill them with Your Holy Spirit. Restore and do much more in the mighty name of the Lord Jesus Christ, amen.

Hope Streams offers spirit and soul healing/building resources. The audio version of Perfect Peace most speedily increases the inner peace in you or your family as you face healthy growth or recovery challenges.

by Crystal Wade, copyright 2018

Posted in Connected Parenting, Helping Children, Tweens and Teens, Parenting and Our Children's Spirits | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment